There is a simultaneously profound and practical question that today’s leaders need to grapple with: Can empathy, a critical skill in modern work environments, be taught?
Among all the soft skills that distinguish exceptional leaders, empathy stands out as particularly valuable. Yet it is also considered to be an innate quality, rather than something that can be learned and strengthened.
What Is Empathy and Why Does It Matter in Leadership?
As American civil rights activist, Maya Angelou, once noted: “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” People who are empathetic tend to leave positive impressions on the people they interact with.
Empathy is the ability to see the world through another’s perspective and understand their frame of mind, emotions, and the rationale behind their decisions and viewpoints. The ability to be empathetic therefore, is core to being able to understand them.
The ability to understand a person is central to being able to form consensus with them, or alternatively have conflict that arrives at a positive outcome. Empathy is not sympathy, though the words are too often used interchangeably. With empathy, you can understand someone’s emotions and perspectives without necessarily agreeing with them.
In organisational leadership, empathy has become increasingly important for several reasons:
- Empathy serves as the foundation for creating environments where diverse views and perspectives can be genuinely valued and effectively leveraged. Without empathy, leaders can struggle to demonstrate adaptable and inclusive leadership skills that modern organisations require.
- Today’s leaders are expected to guide teams composed of individuals with different backgrounds, cultural descent, and personal experiences than their own. Empathy is part of the bridge that supports adaptive leadership, building cultures where debate, challenge, and diverse perspectives are genuinely valued.
- Empathy drives innovation. As Microsoft CEO Satya Nadella once remarked, “empathy may be the most important skill in business today. Without empathy for customers’ varied needs and perspectives, organisations cannot innovate successfully or make the right decisions when creating new products and services.”
Nature vs. Nurture: Is Empathy an Innate Trait?
A common belief suggests that some people are naturally more empathetic than others. Research now suggests otherwise. A good example is with doctors who have empathy as part of their job description (colloquially, the “bedside manner”). Academic research shows that doctors who undertake empathy training do a better job of leaving a positive impression on their patient.
Meanwhile, research from the Australian Catholic University found that students who completed community placements as part of their degrees – where they needed to have face-to-face interactions with subjects and understand their stories – developed a greater sense of empathy than those who only learned the theory.
Studies in neuroscience have identified “mirror neurons” that activate both when we perform an action and when we observe someone else performing the same action. These neurons appear to play a role in our ability to understand others’ emotions, suggesting a biological basis for empathy. However, environmental factors, including upbringing, cultural norms, and personal experiences, can significantly influence how this capacity develops.
The spectrum of empathy varies widely among individuals, and is often closely tied to the person’s capacity/preference for analytic thinking. Those with a more rational, factual, evidence-based thinking preference may have developed less ability to perceive others’ feelings and mindsets. Conversely, those with a more intuitive thinking style—who make decisions based on what they perceive about others’ views and motivations—can have stronger empathetic abilities and habits.
Practical Ways to Develop Empathy
The good news is that even if empathy doesn’t come naturally, it is possible to implement specific processes and strategies to develop insights into what others think and feel:
- Ask powerful questions. During meetings or one-on-one conversations, use phrases like “Tell me more…” or “Can you share a little bit more about what underpins your thinking here?” After someone speaks, rephrase what you’ve heard and ask, “Did I understand this properly?”
- Practice reflective thinking. When finishing a meeting, ask yourself: “What is this person NOT saying?” and “What could they be experiencing right now that they are not sharing?” These questions can help you identify underlying concerns or perspectives.
- Seek regular feedback. Ask direct questions like, “What is one thing I could be doing differently to lead this meeting more effectively or support you better?” This not only provides valuable insights but also demonstrates your commitment to understanding others’ needs.
- Practice deeper listening. Go beyond simply hearing words, to making the effort to understand what is actually being said or shared. This requires full presence and attention during conversations, minimising distractions, and focusing on both verbal and non-verbal cues.
- Withhold judgement. Approach conversations with genuine curiosity and be prepared to challenge your own assumptions and biases. Recognise that your perspective is just one of many valid viewpoints.
- Mentor those different from you. Regularly mentoring individuals with different backgrounds, experiences, or thinking styles helps you develop insights into the varied experiences people have in the workplace.
Balancing Empathy with Business Acumen
In an organisational context, empathy should be strategically applied to enhance performance in two key ways:
First, use empathy to develop insights into how to best manage people, whether employees, customers, or stakeholders. By understanding their key drivers, you can tailor your approach to motivating or influencing their actions more effectively.
Second, use empathy to challenge your own perspective as a leader. This helps you develop adaptive leadership capabilities and make better strategic decisions by considering multiple viewpoints and potential impacts.
A gentle word of caution. When empathy is overused, it can transform into compassion which may hinder business objectives if:
- You consistently seek consensus before making decisions, potentially leading to decision paralysis that harms the business.
- Your compassion for everyone’s needs prevents you from holding people accountable to high standards of work.
- You spend excessive time listening to and trying to solve everyone’s problems, which can be an inefficient use of leadership time.
Empathy as a Leadership Investment
Developing empathy requires conscious effort and practice, however the returns on this investment are substantial. The ability to truly understand others’ perspectives doesn’t mean abandoning your own values or always accommodating every request. Rather, it means enriching your decision-making process with multiple viewpoints and creating a culture where all people feel valued and understood.
These insights into mentoring were part of a wide ranging conversation that Serendis Founder and CEO, Maud Lindley, covered in conversation with Ingrid Massey, Chief People Officer at CBRE, on the Mentoring Unlocked podcast. Tune in for many more insights into how to unlock successful mentoring: https://mentorkey.com.au/podcast-mentoring-unlocked/
